Update

Start your day of strong… #janeway #voyager #coffee #startrek #borg #scifi #sciencefiction #geek #nerd #coffeebeans #energy #coffeetime

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Yeah, I barely worked out this week. I went to one yoga class, which was a total bust. There’s nothing that can de-motivate a person like attending a class that’s supposed to be low-level, only to have the instructors be pushing it much harder than advertised. I can barely walk sometimes. I just want to get my stretch on. So, I don’t know about group exercise so far. Right now, it’s not working for me.

I also angered my injury the other day in a not-good way, and have been in pain ever since. I can feel it’s just angry- it’s not epically re-injured or anything… but yeah. And yes, I know to take it easy… was just in one of those can’t-win situations and whoop, there it is…

I’ve been re-watching GLOW and honestly, at this point, I’m pretty deep into it. I hope next season is just as good. There’s really nothing like it.

Despite being in pain, I am wavering on whether or not I want to go out today to get a few things done. Resting may win out.

I saw an old-ish interview with zelda williams, and man, she is a badass. She sounds like a person who has her shit together.

Oh, I’ve also watched interviews with many of the GLOW actresses, and the ones I saw seemed really intelligent. Though, there was this one interview I didn’t like as much because the interviewers took it in a kind of vapid direction.

I am not ready for fall. No, no, I don’t wanna, in the style of lego batman. I woke up from a sound sleep shivering. Not. Ready.

I bought some terrible coffee grounds the other day. So awful. I actually checked to see if they’d take them back. They did. Thanks, nice coffee-purveyors!

Hoping to be able to move in a few months or so, but even thinking about it is very stressful. I’ve been researching that and Other Things I Would Do If I Had Money. Even in the hypothetical, it’s kind of more stressful than fun to me. Why are cellphones so damn expensive? Why do they make them to only last a few years, when we are still basically in a recession? Blah. I mean, I’m not naive, I know these people aren’t in the business of charity… but it would look nice for their public images to have something accessible. Then again, they haven’t asked me…

Why do people not write you back when you ask them shit? Whatever. Just makes me not buy your thing. (In this case it was an apartment- which I’m not ready for yet, (just researching), but I was still put-off by people just ignoring my emails!). Oh look, I could’ve used the right kind of brackets. Oh well.

I’ve been getting coffee out now and then, which Girlfriend has given me shit for. In her defense, and if she’s reading this (she doesn’t usually), I do know she means well. But it just didn’t sit right. I mean, I’ve been so broke for so long… Coffee is a small treat.

I might make some waffles this morning. I still have some leftover mixes from that time I temped at a kitchen store. It’s so crazy for me to think of that now, compared to what I’m striving for. But, stuff like that keeps you humble and helped me a little with bills for as long as it lasted. May as well see if the mix is still good.

____

Later…

Well, I’m out of that mix, but I found blueberry flapjack mix. I worked on teaching myself the whole pancake/flapjack making thing. The first one was lost to the pancake gods, the others were different experiments, but all good. Mostly, I’m just trying to find the right balance of heat.

Now, I have to decide if I want to get some pumpkin spice flavored waffle mix or not.

 

 

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Update

I developed a UTI because of course I did /sarcasm/… I’ve been in touch w/the doctor & will go have it checked out. Usually, I can just take stuff & it goes away, but this one is particularly nasty.

Through some strange work of the world, I am travelling the same digs as my (long-ago) ex-girlfriend, and it’s super weird. Thankfully, we never travelled those digs together, but her shadow looms large. She was so different when we went out… now I see who she projects to the world and it just makes me angry in that “good for your success, but you didn’t have to step over me to get there…” way. It was a long time ago, I should just release that, but I’m only human.

Speaking of being human, my body was not really on-board with much this week. I skipped the gym most of the week. I went to a yoga class, which honestly kinda sucked, but I was trying to give it my all. It turned out I liked the fill-in teacher better. This one was acting like I was slowing down the class & was trying to redirect me to other classes. Such a pain because I’ve actually studied Hatha pretty extensively, so if I’m doing a modification, it’s bleeping intentional, lady! Yeah, yoga’s not supposed to make you angry, so there’s that…

…and because of the UTI and just feeling super run-down and awful, I skipped the do-it-yourself PT and the strength training. I might go over the weekend if I feel better. Haven’t decided yet.

More or less, my mind races at full speed while my body goes at its own slow pace. Sometimes I look like I’m mad at the world, but really, I’m just in pain so much of the time, it’s not great.

Inside, though, most of the time, I’m content, even happy.I just think maybe I tried to take on too much too soon, but for now, I’m just trying to get through it. Maybe I’ll feel better about things once I’m physically feeling better.

 

 

Easter at the ankle fixing facility

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This is a bunny I made from random stuff in my room. Easter is kinda like this bunny in that I am trying to make something out of nothing.

I slept all day, almost literally, if it weren’t for the meal interludes. The best meal today was the one I scraped together from gifts from the Girlfriend: canned ravioli, special vegan protein drink, and some fancy chocolate with fruit in it. I feel like Easter started with that meal.

I hid from the world and slept, which, if you are reasonably healthy here, aside from broken things, you can occasionally get away with. No one came to visit me on Easter, which sucks so much. There were visitors everywhere and just hearing them from behind my closed door was already too much to handle. I have this great neighbor who kept knocking, for what it’s worth, but I couldnt make it to the door in time and didnt want to try. As cool as dormmates can be, sometimes you just need to be alone, to contemplate your aloneness. What can I say, I’m a complicated being.

Girlfriend is away this Easter, as is often the case, so the gifts were from previous visits. The whatnow family was busy doing things that did not involve me, and to be fair, most were away as well. So, it’s not personal. It just feel that way sometimes, which makes weekends here the hardest for me. Then Sunday, I remember my ankle homework and take the time to complete it, or not, but usually I do.

I have a nearly completed Easter egg that needs finishing too. It actually looks pretty good half finished, so thats nice.

I have also watched so many food shows its unbelieveable. I cant wait until this thing is fixed.

More This & That

1 You’re gonna do WHAT with that?

I need a colonoscopy… and it’s coming up soon. I am mostly ok with it- not looking forward to it, but it will be nice to have the results.

 

2 MMM cookies!

I got “fat”. Please, let me call it what it is. Everyone irl has been sparing my feelings, which is nice, but a weight gain of about 15 lbs makes me feel fat. After everything I’ve been through, I’ve earned the right to just blurt it out, I think.

And why did I get fat? Well, I can now eat things I couldn’t eat before, and that is awesome. At least, that *may* be part of it. The other part is me trying to figure out the ins and outs of surgical menopause, which isn’t easy.

3

One of many exasperating, but not painful, symptoms.

But on the bright side, there’s this:

4

Yes, I am referencing actual dairy-based ice cream! I can eat it now! It turns out, the problems I experienced were due to my malfunctioning gallbladder! That’s pretty much all I’ve tried, but I’m looking forward to trying other former problem foods.

 

5

Yay! No more periods!

Boo! Surgical menopause is almost exactly like PMS (for me), but without the pain.

I’ve been cooking and eating, so there will be more of those types of posts on the way. But, I might not get to it until after the exam, for obvious reasons.

 

Take care! 🙂

Blueberry Muffins: First Try!

1

I’m slowly getting back into my groove. This is the first baking I’ve done in a while, excluding the boxed cake I mentioned a while back.

I’d never actually made blueberry muffins from scratch before. This recipe was quick and easy. I liked that. The muffin tops were flat because I’d tried a commenter’s suggestion to add sugar to the top mid-bake. Um, no. Don’t bother. I much rather would have tall muffins instead of the little bit of extra sugar. Live and learn.

Otherwise, the muffins are moist and chewy, and are now half-gone. So, it was a success. Next time, I’m thinking of trying a different recipe to see how they compare.

Enjoy! 🙂

Stuff and Nonsense

1

It’s Week 17 since the surgery, and a few weeks out from the surprise stay. I’ve been trying to think of inspirational and/or funny posts, but the truth is, I’m not always all that inspired or funny.

Things are going fine in the grand scheme of things. I’ve been able to eat things I really shouldn’t be eating. I’ve been drinking soda again since about a month after the surgery. I’m not proud of this, but there are far worse habits out there. My plan is to get back on the water train, but I will finish what’s already around first.

I’ve been able to do a little somethin’-somethin’ with my beauty regimen. I no longer have to stick to unscented, un-anything types of products. So, since the incision healed, I’ve been using a lavender body wash/shampoo combo, which has been appropriate for the chill mood I’ve been trying to work.

Truth be told, I’ve been getting some flack for not getting my act together faster, and it’s affected my mood. Some people get motivated by that sort of criticism. I don’t. Especially when I was just starting to get back on my feet and feel good again. This isn’t a rant blog, but this has been a part of my life since I wrote last, and if you want the facts, I feel like I must include it. I’m sure everyone has their own versions of this on the road to surgery recovery- that well-meaning friend or relative who thinks you can leap large buildings in a single bound, while you would just be happy to walk to one.

I kayaked with Girlfriend, which confused everyone but her. I should say: “She helped me into the boat, pushed me off, then pulled me back in when I was finished”, but that takes too long. She also found delightful little spots for us to take breaks and sat there and played floaty with her boat so I’d stop and rest. So, um, technically, I kayaked, but mostly I took pictures of nature and put my feet and hands in the water.

I actually did walk around with a sports bra and shorts while we were at the cabin. She’d gotten me these scar patch things that I used to protect my scars from the sun. But, while we were out boating, I felt a little too shy and a little too worried about exposing them like that. It just felt better to have a bathing suit on over them.

The scar itself is still huge, long, and purple. I don’t think I have average feelings about it, compared to what I see elsewhere. Mostly, I feel proud that I survived. I never had the courage to get a tattoo, and this is kind of like one. Though, at the same time, I also hope it fades. It will take at least a year before I will know for sure. I am lucky that Girlfriend is not squeamish- she has seen the scar since I started taking pictures of it, and heard me talking about it since Day 1. So, I don’t feel like I have to hide it from her, which is very nice. I can’t imagine what those feelings must be like, on top of actually experiencing surgery.

…Just a little of this and that.

Mac and Cheese 3

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In preparation for the big snow, I decided to have another go at macaroni and cheese. As I’ve said before, I have odd intolerances that result in a hybrid of dairy/not-dairy whenever I recreate this classic dish.

Here are my previous attempts: 1) is a crockpot version that was my first serious attempt at homemade mac. 2) is a baked version that came straight from a book, and provided some very loose inspiration for this third attempt, which is my original baked creation.

 

Mac & Cheese 3:

Ingredients

1 stick Aged Cheddar

1 ball Mozzarella

3 slices American cheese

1 handful pre-shredded “Mexican blend” cheese

1 slice Pecorino Romano from the block, about 2″ x 3″ x 1/2″

Table Parmesan from the shaker (about a teaspoon)

1 cup fat free Greek yogurt

A splash of rice milk

A box of pasta, I used tiny shells

2 3/4 stick of butter

Bread crumbs-about a tablespoon

Fancy Cracker crumbs- about a teaspoon

Dijon Mustard

 

Tools:

Casserole dish large enough to fit everything

Large metal bowl (conducts heat)

Large spoon

Small measuring spoons

Mini-chopper

Knife & cutting board

Spatula to serve

Lid or plastic wrap to store

Butter spray

Microwave & microwave-safe small bowl

 

Method:

For the mac base, I…

Set the oven to 350F

Sprayed the casserole dish & set it aside

Boiled the pasta water & added pasta when ready (followed box instructions)

Cut the cheddar into blocks, then pulsed them in the mini-chopper

Dropped the cheddar into the bowl

Diced the mozzarella & added to bowl

Tore the American cheese & added to bowl

Diced the Pecorino & added to bowl

Melted butter in micro-safe bowl in microwave, about 35 seconds

Added a tablespoon of mustard (was a bit too much for me, fyi)

Poured butter into bowl with cheeses

Added yogurt, then a splash of rice milk

Drained pasta

Poured pasta into bowl

Stirred

Filled casserole dish & packed down

 

For the crust, I…

Sprinkled the fancy cracker crumbs over the top of the cheesy pasta

Then sprinkled the bread crumbs on top of the mixture

Then added a layer of “Mexican shredded cheese”

Then sprinkled Parmesan on top of that

 

Baking:

I baked it for about 45 minutes, checking after the first 30

 

Serving:

Obviously, it’s best if you can wait a little bit for it to set, but I ate the first portion almost immediately. I use a flat spatula to portion it out into card-deck shaped pieces… although the depth is about 2 packs!

 

Storing:

Then, I just put plastic wrap over the casserole dish, wait for it to cool down, and keep it in the fridge. I usually finish in about a week. I wouldn’t recommend keeping it past that.

 

Enjoy! 🙂