I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha
In the US workforce, there’s an expression, “Plan for the day you are hit by a bus.” It means that a smart employer, and an understanding employee would know better than to make one person “indispensable”. I use quotes because none of us are indispensable. The best we can hope for is to make ourselves valuable.
So, that day when you are hit by the metaphorical bus, what happens? You are busy performing triage on the situation, meanwhile, life continues on….
All of the sudden, it is May. I was in the nursing home/rehab/I mostly called it hospital when writing about it… almost exactly TWO MONTHS. Right now, I feel as if I would no longer choose inpatient rehab. Yes, there should be a dash in that word, but the way I have it is much more appropriate.
I was treated in what is basically an old folks home. I am not that old of a folk. But, I’ve mentioned before, our healthcare works in mysterious ways. I don’t think I would make the same decision now, but understand, I was asked the question while heavily medicated post-surgery and in a hospital bed, and I did not want to burden my family.
But, on to the present… I have bills near due and possibly past due, my favorite plant is nearly gone, my rice milk sat in the fridge since March…. I’m just really overwhelmed. I decided to stop all my meds bc I am tired of it, but I am wondering if I should go back on one. But, the thing is, it is normal and natural to feel overwhelmed in a situation like this, yes? So, I don’t know.
When we last left my life, I was trying to find a job. The only interesting thing that happened on this front was that I filled out a questionnaire… I had to borrow an outdated machine to do it, but of course, I was grateful. I haven’t heard anything since then, so onward.
I am supposed to start outpatient PT in a couple of weeks. Right now, in this moment, I don’t feel like going. I am sick of Drs and hospitals and everything having to do with them.
My life in the old folks home consisted of me going to music classes to prepare for the yearly talent show. I also did arts and crafts. That part of life was sweet. I made friends and influenced no one. People said such wonderful things to me when I was leaving- that I was beautiful and kind hearted and that they will miss talking to me. I will miss this.
I am totally overwhelmed because I don’t have tons of help. GF helps, but wants me, quite rightly, to be independent. This is hard, because when we are weak, we tend to overburden those we love. I think my friends and family are sick of me being sick. GF says I have been feeling sorry for myself. I do. And I feel jealous of people who seem to have their lives together more than I do. Friends and family who are married with kids, living in houses…
So, it’s a tough day, internet friends, but your posts are a great distraction…