I have to go see another surgeon- just to talk, but still… This may result in another surgery, it may not. The talk is scheduled for a while from now, which is both good and bad: Good, because well, it’s October, and I want to do Halloween-type things; Bad, because I have time to mull it over. The thing is, there isn’t much to mull over just yet- only the fact that there is an appointment scheduled, but fear being what it is, it can mess with your mind a little bit.
I’ve been extremely, incredibly, unbelievably lucky. I just… don’t want to chance it, you know? Part of me wants to leave well enough alone, but part of me also knows that if it’s best to go ahead and take care of it, I will.
I’ve been so lucky on the food front. I don’t say this to brag, *at all*. It’s just, for longtime readers, you guys know what I went through- Every time I wanted to try a recipe, it had to be modified- sometimes, pretty extensively. So far, things have been really good, almost unbelievably good. I’m almost waiting for the other shoe to drop, (which, technically was Piper’s fear, but I couldn’t find a good picture of it).
I don’t feel like being back in a hospital (eventually, maybe, possibly), but I also don’t feel like worrying about bad things inside of me creating havoc amongst my internals. I also fear speaking these fears, because I don’t want it to look like I’m unappreciative of the excellent care I’ve had thus far.
I’ve been doing really well, considering. It’s just hard to face Fear.